Working together to make decisions about a parent’s care can strain even the closest of families. Watching your loved one’s health decline is tough. Complicating matters is that caregiving responsibilities are typically not split equally among siblings. That alone can cause conflict.

A study by the AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving revealed that only 1 in 10 family caregivers say responsibilities are shared equally and without conflict among loved ones. In most families, one person shoulders much of the burden. It’s often the eldest daughter or the daughter who lives closest to a parent.

3 Common Causes of Friction about Senior Care

1. Different opinions: Adult children don’t always see eye-to-eye on how much or what type of care a parent needs. These disagreements are often caused by an adult child who lives farther away or is in denial about a parent’s decline.
2. Disagreements about money: Another source of family feuds over senior care is money. Adult children may disagree on how to spend—or not spend—a parent’s money. Unfortunately, it isn’t uncommon for siblings to clash over potential inheritance.
3. Caregiving responsibilities: Sibling disagreements may also erupt over the division of caregiving duties. One adult child may resent having to do most of the heavy lifting. Those who aren’t helping much might be overly critical due to underlying guilt.

Work Together to Support an Aging Parent

Caring for an aging parent requires a coordinated approach. Whether you’re making decisions about senior care or creating a monthly budget, it’s important to put aside your differences. A few steps you can take that may make it easier to work together include:

1. Communicating regularly: Routine communication among adult children and loved ones is vital for avoiding misunderstandings. Make a habit of meeting regularly, even if it’s only by video chat, to discuss changes in a parent or new issues that require action.
2. Letting it go: Don’t let resentment and old sibling rivalries keep you from doing what is in your parent’s best interest. Instead of hanging on to old wounds and slights, let it go. The added stress isn’t good for you or your parent.
3. Seeking unbiased help: Unfortunately, some families may be unable to resolve their differences. The support of an unbiased third party may be necessary. Start with your parent’s rabbi or pastor if they are comfortable taking on that role. One group of professionals you can turn to for assistance with senior care issues are aging life care professionals. They can help with everything from selecting an assisted living community to supervising in-home care providers.

If you have questions about senior care of any kind, call the Five Star Senior Living community nearest you. One of our experienced team members will be happy to assist!

If you are a retiree beginning the search for a senior living community, you are no doubt wondering where to look. It’s one of the first decisions you’ll need to make. Do you want to stay near your current home or move closer to family?

As more adult children move away to pursue career opportunities, families are often separated by many miles. Deciding whether to move near an adult child’s home or find a senior living community near you can be tough.

Even after you’ve explored communities in both locations, the answer might not be clear. If you are struggling, here are a few factors to consider.

Where to Search for Senior Living

If you take the following factors into consideration, you’ll likely arrive at an informed decision:

1. Is there a chance your adult child will have to move again?

If your adult child moved to a new city or state for their career, is there a chance they’ll have to relocate again? If their job requires them to move every few years, you could find yourself alone in a new place without family nearby. This is important to consider as you make this decision.

2. Which location will offer the best quality of life?

Many retirees want to spend more time with family as they grow older. But relocating and starting over might be tough. This is especially true if you’ve lived in your current neighborhood for decades. While your adult child and their family might also want to see you more, is their life hectic already? Will their schedule permit you to be together as much as you envision?

If you currently have a wide circle of friends and an active social life, it may make more sense to find a senior living community close to your current home.

By contrast, if you don’t have close friends nearby, relocating near family may be a better choice. In the event of an emergency, you will have someone you can count on nearby.

3. Does one location offer better access to health care?

It’s an unfortunate reality that older adults require more health care services than younger adults. Having quick access to hospitals, physicians, outpatient clinics, and specialists will make it easier to get care.

Before you decide, research health care providers in every area you are considering. That will give you peace of mind about the future.

4. How well do you adapt to change?

Moving to a senior living community can be a big transition. If you add the adjustments of moving to a new city, it can be a lot at once. While some people are always excited for new adventures, not everyone enjoys big changes.

If you struggle with change, you might find it very difficult to relocate far from your current home. A nearby senior living community may make the next chapter in life go more smoothly.

Visiting Senior Living Communities

One of the most important factors in making an informed decision about senior living is a personal visit to tour and ask questions. Be sure to ask questions that will provide the insight you need about each community. Make a list before you begin your tours. “What Questions Should You Ask on a Senior Living Tour?” will help you get started.

We invite you to call (853) 457-8271 to schedule a tour of a nearby Five Star Senior Living community. With over 270 communities in 30 states, you are sure to find a campus near you!

People usually picture a family caregiver as a female. Most often it is a spouse, adult daughter, or even a granddaughter. While female caregivers still outnumber male caregivers, the gap between the sexes is closing. Northwestern University researchers say while only twenty to thirty-three percent of caregivers are men, the number is increasing.

Cultural roles and ethnicity may play a role in how many women assume caregiving roles. However, the increasing number of men pitching in may be attributed to:

• More women working outside the home compared with past generations
• Smaller families with fewer siblings to act as caregivers
• Families with a son living closer to parents than a daughter

This increase in male caregivers just one of several trends changing the face of caregiving.

Changes in Family Caregiving

Another trend is age. According to a Genworth Financial study, today’s caregivers are much younger than in the past. Fifty-eight percent of family caregivers are between ages twenty-five and fifty-four. The average age in 2018 was forty-seven versus fifty-three in 2010.

Since the average age of caregivers is declining, the impact on family caregivers’ lives has become more pronounced. Younger caregivers are more likely to be working outside the home and raising a family of their own.

Another change is why family members need assistance. In 2010, only eleven percent of seniors needed the help of a family caregiver because of an accident. Most needed assistance because of chronic health conditions or other issues related to aging.

The number of older adults needing a caregiver because of an accident or injury has soared to twenty-one percent. Because these types of emergencies can leave a family unprepared, it can be especially difficult for loved ones called on to be caregivers.

The Impact of Caregiving on Families

The Genworth survey also revealed the toll caregiving takes on families. While the majority say the role is rewarding, most admit there are challenges. The following are common struggles for family caregivers:

• Fifty percent have less time to spend with their spouse and children
• Fifty-three percent said caregiving increased their level of anxiety and stress
• Forty-six percent cite the physical and emotional demands of caregiving as negative impacts on their health
• Forty-one percent say they suffer from mood swings and depression

The hidden costs of caregiving often surprise people, resulting in an unexpected financial burden. A few of the financial issues caregivers cited during the survey included:

• Needing to reduce the number of hours worked or giving work up altogether to accommodate caregiving duties
• Being overlooked for promotions because of perceived lack of availability
• Cutting back on leisure spending to pay for costs like pharmacy bills and medical co-pays
• Using retirement savings or reducing monthly contributions to pay for costs associated with caregiving
• Selling belongings to finance an older loved one’s care expenses

A Continuum of Care at Five Star Senior Living

If you are a family caregiver struggling to juggle so many responsibilities, it may be time to consider a move to a senior living community. From independent living to assisted living, memory care, and respite, you’ll likely find a solution to meet your needs at Five Star. Call the community nearest you for help determining what type of care fits your family member’s needs.

Are you the caregiver for an aging parent or other senior family member? You aren’t alone. According to the Pew Research Center, one in eight people in this country finds themselves in this situation. They are caring for a senior loved one while raising their own family and oftentimes working outside the home, too.

These people are referred to as sandwich generation caregivers. The challenges they face juggling so many roles often mean especially stressful days.

What can you do to survive the sandwich generation caregiver years?

We have a few tips to help you navigate a demanding schedule.

4 Tips for Surviving When You Are a Sandwich Generation Caregiver

1. Set priorities: When a senior loved one’s health is declining, a family caregiver may strive to make everything as perfect as possible. It can result in unrealistic expectations. A better approach may be prioritizing the most important things and giving yourself permission to compromise in other areas.
2. Seek support: Adult children often feel duty-bound to care for a parent on their own. Many doubt anyone can care for their parent as well as they do. While that is a noble goal, it’s rarely achievable. When friends and family members offer to lend a helping hand, say yes instead of no. Easy tasks to ask for help with include running errands, picking up prescriptions, or sitting with the senior while you take a break. In addition to helping you, family members will enjoy spending meaningful time with the senior. If you don’t have anyone close who can help, call your local office of the Area Agency on Aging. The staff can typically offer a list of suggestions.
3. Get organized: Caregivers often struggle to manage an abundance of paperwork and appointments. It’s easy to become disorganized and stressed out. One of the best ways to reduce stress is to establish systems that give you peace of mind. One way is to set up a binder with the senior’s important health information and medical schedule. You might also want to create a master calendar that lists appointments for everyone in the house.
4. Commit to self-care: From failing to schedule an annual physical to skipping routine health screenings, sandwich generation caregivers often get so busy they neglect their own health. Maintaining a healthy diet and getting regular exercise may seem like luxuries you don’t have time for. Eventually, it can put a caregiver at risk for health problems such as high blood pressure and diabetes. That’s why it’s vital for caregivers to practice good self-care. Doing so will help you take better care of your family.

One final tip is to consider respite care services at an assisted living community. Your loved one will receive the same care and support as long-term residents while you take a restful, renewing break. Call the Five Star Senior Living community nearest you to learn more!

This time, there’s no euphemism for what you need to discuss. You want to help your senior parents with their financial planning. You have to talk to them about money.

Awkward, right?

These tips can help you broach the issue and cover all of the topics you need to discuss. And you’ll still be able to face your parents in the morning.
Having “The Talk” with an Older Parent

Decide Who Should Have the Talk

Unless you are an only child, you don’t have to face this important conversation alone. But if you gather the entire brood to talk to your parents, they might feel as if you’re ganging up on them.

Instead, elect the siblings with the closest, most open relationships with your parents to introduce the subject.
Introduce the Topic in a Non-Threatening Way

Don’t walk in and begin asking your parents about their assets, savings, or financial plans for the future.

Instead, use one of these methods suggested by experts:

Tell a story: Begin with an anecdote about a friend whose parents recently wrote their will. Or tell about a friend whose parents passed away leaving no information about their finances.

Suggest to your parents that it’s important you know what to do should they pass unexpectedly.

Ask your parents questions about future plans: Innocent questions such as “Where do you plan to retire?” or “Do you think you want to live in this house forever?” can open doors to a candid talk about finances.

Share your own money stories: Mention that you just increased your life insurance policy or maxed out your 401K with money from your raise. Showing your parents you’re willing to share details about your financial life could get them to open up.

Don’t Demand That Your Parents “Tell All”

Some parents may perceive their adult children to be “greedy” or think they are looking out for their own interests if they ask their parents about finance.

On the contrary, it’s important to talk to your parents about money matters for their own well-being. “Some aging parents opt to share information on legal arrangements and accounts, leaving dollar amounts out of the picture,” says financial adviser Jon Yankee in an article at Today.com.

Cover the Important Points
While you don’t need specific dollar figures, you’ll want information about several key areas:

• Where to locate important documents, including health and life insurance information and last will and testament
• How many monthly bills do they have and how do they pay —online or by check
• Whether or not they would be willing to move to an assisted living or continued care retirement community if necessary
• How they plan to pay for future senior care needs

Know When to Bring in an Expert

If your parents refuse to talk, or if they are so confused about their own financial planning that they don’t have any answers, suggest calling a financial adviser specializing in seniors or an elder law attorney.

Together, you can sort out future finances. Both you and your aging parents will find greater peace-of-mind having survived “the talk.”

Need help determining how your parents could pay for a move to senior living? Let the experts at Five Star help. 

It’s happened.

You’ve become a full-time caregiver for your senior parent.

In addition to helping an aging loved one with activities of daily life (ADLs), such as bathing or grooming, you are probably also helping them manage their financial affairs.

Even if your parent is fortunate enough to live in a senior community that provides assisted living services, you’re probably still responsible for their legal and financial matters.

What legal paperwork should you have on hand to not just to pay for senior living, but to be prepared for an emergency?

Gathering the items on this handy checklist can make it easier to keep your loved one’s finances in order.

Last Will & Testament

This legal document is one of the most important to have should your loved one pass away. It indicates who receives their assets, including real estate, savings, and perhaps even household items with monetary value or sentimental significance.

Although seventy percent of Americans don’t have a will, helping your loved one draw one up can reduce fights or hassles over cash and property, and can also prevent having money left in probate until the court decides who should receive it.

Store the will in a fireproof safe with digital copies in a secure location.

Power-of-Attorney

This legal document gives the caregiver the authority to make financial, business, and legal decisions on behalf of their senior loved one. If the older adult in your care has Alzheimer’s or otherwise become incapacitated, this document makes decision making less complicated.

Life Insurance Documents and Other Investment Paperwork

While not legal documents, per se, having all relevant paperwork and account numbers handy for investments and accounts will make it easier for the person with power-of-attorney to access cash when it’s needed. It is especially helpful in an emergency.

Living Will

A living will tells medical professionals the extent to which your loved one wants end-of-life care. For instance, they might request palliative care but request that measures such as cardiopulmonary resuscitation or life support systems not be used. A living will may also include wishes regarding organ donation or autopsy.

While this document doesn’t affect finances, it can prevent disputes amongst family members and keep caregivers from having to make difficult decisions on their own.

Health-care Proxy and HIPAA Authorization

While a living will outlines a person’s medical wishes, a health care proxy gives the caregiver the authority to make medical decisions on behalf of the person.

In order to exercise your right as a health-care proxy, however, you’ll need your aging loved one to sign a Health Information Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) authorization form, which gives you legal access to their medical records.

The Power to Make the Right Decisions

From paying for assisted living to making difficult choices about your loved one’s medical treatments, having the right legal paperwork in place and the necessary documents accessible can make life easier during this challenging time.

 
In order to give you the option to make changes to your plan, Medicare offers open enrollment from October 15^th to December 7^th each year.
 
What You Should Know About Medicare Open Enrollment
 
Here are some of the most frequently asked questions about Medicare open enrollment:

1. How do I know if I need to change my plan?

If you or your senior family member is already enrolled in Medicare, you should be receiving materials in the mail with information about health or prescription drug plans. Be sure to carefully review these materials once you’ve received them, as changes are regularly made to plans.
 
Materials such as your “Evidence of Coverage” (EOC) or “Annual Notice of Change” (ANOC) will typically detail changes being made to your coverage or plan. Based on upcoming changes to your existing plan, you can assess your own health care needs and decide whether or not you need to make a change or help your older family member make one. If there are gaps with your existing plan, it is a good idea to consider other options during open enrollment.

1. How can I find information about plan options?

Information about the next year’s Medicare plans is released in October, right before the open enrollment period. To find general information about your coverage choices, visit How to Get Medicare Coverage for more information.
 
If it is challenging for you to navigate the Medicare website, you can also call 1-800-MEDICARE (633-4227) to get general Medicare information, as well as information about health plans.

1. Can I delay my Medicare Part B enrollment?

In certain situations you can delay your Medicare Part B enrollment without having to pay higher premiums or a late enrollment penalty.
 
The situations in which you may be able to delay your Medicare Part B enrollment without penalty include:

• You or your spouse did not enroll before the deadline because one of you was still working at the time and had access to group coverage through an employer or union
• You were volunteering overseas or living abroad when you turned 65, making you ineligible to claim Social Security benefits
• You have become eligible for a low-income subsidy due to loss of income
• You were eligible for both Medicare and Medicaid but have recently lost dual eligibility status
• You are moving into certain types of skilled nursing facilities

If you have an extenuating circumstance and are not sure whether or not it will qualify you for a Special Enrollment Period, call Medicare to confirm at 1-800-633-4227.

1. What happens if I miss open enrollment?

Unfortunately, if you miss open enrollment and do not qualify for a Special Enrollment Period, you will be unable to change your plan until the following year’s open enrollment.
 
You can, however, disenroll from Medicare Advantage coverage between January 1^st and February 14^th. Should you decide to disenroll from Medicare Advantage, you will have the option to enroll in a stand-alone prescription drug plan, to ensure that your medications will still be covered by insurance.
 
Additional Resources
 
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